A child needs to be met and held.
In my work with children, my focus is to empathicaly recognize these needs of the child. This includes the need for validation of a child’s affective or emotional experience, the need to be admired, and the need for soothing.
It is critical that I relate to the child as a real person engaging authentically to demonstrate the mutuality of our impact on each other, all the while valuing the child for being unique and separate.
In my work, I will shift back and forth between participation and observation, involvement and detachment. This flexibility gives me the opportunity to share in the experience and comment on it so that I can draw the child’s attention to what the child is playing out or enacting. The emphasis with children learning is on experiential knowledge.
Children usually bring their struggles to therapy non-verbally and communicate behaviorally. They tend to express their pain, distress, and frustration through aggressive play, defiance, tantrums, anxious behaviors, or withdrawal.
My job, as therapist, is to be receptive to what the child reveals by being mindful, aware of present experience with acceptance. This way of being mindful can increase our capacity as adults to be connected and to relate empathically with a child.
Sustained mindfulness requires the intention to stay in the present with a child and to observe and accept both pleasurable and painful experiences as they occur. The application of mindfulness to parenting means learning to be accepting and nonjudgmental in the face of a dizzying array of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors of their children. This approach to a child’s needs helps them organize their experiences and teaches them to value all of themselves.
The role of the therapist is not unlike that of a parent who models an accepting, nonjudgmental, and empathic stance. This non-threatening attitude allows children to unburden themselves openly with the freedom to experience their feelings fully.
One must be able to let go of control and be open to embrace whatever arises with the child. This will require flexibility from the parent as well as a steady tolerance for both positive and negative feelings and thoughts from the child.
Change takes place in the direction of greater freedom and spontaneity. Mindfulness can help us adults be open to all layers of our own emerging experiences and cultivate a greater sense of compassion, empathy, patience, and connection with our children. This is essential to practicing mindful parenting.
Photo credit:
Readers who enjoyed this post may also enjoy:











{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }
Child is need belongingness we should show to them our love, care, and Appreciation. The greatest therapy of the Child is LOVE….. if the child is full of love they will be happy and have a positive outlook in life. We thought them what is right and wrong. Guide them to the right path give them direction of life. We should be a good role model to them.Thanks for sharing this to us more power to your site! God bless