Feeling good despite the weather

A week ago the temperatures reached 86 around Seattle with sunny, clear skies.  Today it is 60 and blustery with rain.  When the weather changed I exchanged my sun hat for an umbrella.  Protecting myself first from the sun, then from the rain, I responded to make myself comfortable, within limits.

I was happy for the rain and ready for a break from the sun, though after a couple of hours I wanted the rain to stop.  Unfortunately, the weather is beyond my control.  Accepting the rain, choosing my response to it makes me feel in control, balanced and at peace in my life despite the circumstances.

Imagining weather as a metaphor for the ‘weather’ inside me is transformative.  It makes a huge difference in my life when I am aware of feelings, states of mind, and physical sensations as ‘weather’ and not ‘me.‘  Space opens up around the sensations and emotions which creates separation between me and the emotions.  From here I can decide how to respond – putting on the rain gear and plunging out into the weather.  Then it becomes possible to observe my reactivity and maybe even understand it.

Friday I woke up cranky.  Checking in with myself with a brief meditation, I watched:  a swirl of chaotic agitation moving through my torso, tension in muscles, warbly constriction in the throat.  Immersing my attention in these sensations I spontaneously recalled a childhood memory of a frightening hospital stay and then became aware of a belief embedded in this history, “No one is protecting me.  This hurts too much.”

Pausing, interrupting this intense agitation and tension, I breathed in deeply and reminded myself of the soft feeling of the sheets and the pleasant support of my pillow.  I opened my eyes and noticed the room around me.  This created space around the agitation which freed me to watch but not be the agitation, the weather system moving through me.

Then, I returned to the specific memory of the childhood hospital stay and observed pain and interpretations triggered both then and now as I prepared for a routine colonoscopy I had not realized, in my determination to get the darn thing done, was terrifying me.  Now, I called my dog, held him and concentrated on the soft, sweet body of my dog, his unconditional love and our warm and happy relationship.  Meanwhile the childhood memory was swirling within me but no longer overwhelming me.

Defusing the painful childhood memory with a present, positive experience by intentionally focusing on the positive connection I have with my dog diminishes the charge of that difficult memory in my brain. This helpful method (suggested in Dr. Rick Hanson’s book “Buddha’s Brain”) can cultivate the ability to respond rather than react when the weather gets stormy. Holding a positive present experience in mind for a few minutes in the midst of a painful one and reinforcing the awareness of the present moment by sitting with the positive experience is a useful mindfulness practice that creates over time a shift in perspective as new, positive pathways are focused upon. I’m encouraging a response to the weather that offers me peace and well-being. It may be raining outside, but inside a warm fire is burning and I am getting ready to roast marshmallows and make s’mores.

Article:  Cynthia Claire Westby © September 2011

 

Photo:  Cynthia Claire Westby, Heron Testing the Waters  © 2011