My son is two and a half. He is curious. He is funny. He is forever asking questions. Sometimes, though he drives me crazy! Even though I am well aware that it is ‘age appropriate’ it can absolutely drive me crazy when his insists to doing everything by himself.
Don’t get me wrong. I think more than almost anything else; instilling a sense of independence in my children is of prime importance. But sometimes (more than I’d like to admit) I’m in a rush and I just don’t have the time (and or patience) to let him pick out his clothes, watch him struggle to put them on, figure out which shoe goes on which foot etc. I have errands to do, places to go, people to see!
At bedtime he is adamant that he brush his teeth – by himself. I see the time ticking away…I want him to get into bed already..I have older children I need to put to bed…I have things to do… Although all of these are true, I stand there and watch him brush his teeth – by himself.
This includes opening the drawer and taking out the toothpaste (if I do it to speed things up , he puts the toothpaste back in the drawer, closes it, then opens it up to take it out himself), taking his toothbrush out of the holder, ever so slowly squeezing the toothpaste onto the toothbrush, turning on the water, running the toothbrush under the water, actually brushing his teeth (most of them) then rinsing his toothbrush, and returning it and the toothpaste to their proper place.
Let me tell you, this process takes a lot longer than I’d like. But I let him do it. After a number of frustrating nights – trying to battle him with ‘shared responsibility teeth brushing’ I realized it’s just not worth it. If and when I can put myself in the mental framework that tooth brushing is a going to take a while and that it’s not going to be done as efficiently as I might like we both win. He gets to ‘do it himself’ (and get clean teeth) and I get to feel calm about the process while I watch my son develop his independence!
Photo by Neeta Lind
