The article in the New York Times, Postpartum Depression Strikes Fathers, Too - struck a chord with me on a personal and professional level.
My first reaction was genuine relief that this topic was being written about in the New York times. As a psychotherapist, I’ve worked with a number of new fathers who have faced difficult and challenging feelings after the birth of their first child.
Through my work with fathers in various programs, a self proclaimed “dadvocate” and a part time stay at home dad I was familiar with the rollercoaster of emotions that men faced upon becoming fathers. For many men the increased responsibility, the change in identity, the drop in relationship satisfaction and the strain of a third person in the household creates a new level of stress that many men are simply not equipped to deal with.
In my work with new and expecting fathers as well as couples i have frequently referred them to www.postpartummen.com. I also refer colleagues working with new fathers to use this as a resource and to familiarize themselves with the symptoms associated with Paternal Postnatal Depression.
From my own experience that sense of isolation, the fact that we had a child in a non-standard family and that I often felt excluded or simply did not fit in with the mommy groups only compounded my own experience. Support/Social groups for Stay at Home Dads have increased in the last few years providing an outlet, encouragement and a social network for men choosing to stay at home with their newborns.
Yes, I am thrilled that there is an article in the New York Times about Postpartum Depression in men. However, we have only just begun to scrape the surface in understanding how becoming a new parent, how becoming a father affects men.
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Depression in fathers has been studied less often than depression in mothers. In studies done by the military about 12% of male recruits versus 20% of women recruits are depressed. The military raises the question of what should be done about sending depressed individuals to the battle field; there has been no answer yet. We know that stress can trigger emotional responses and if the pregnant couple are facing a lot of challenges there would be a greater chance either or both could be depressed. Women are likely to experience many hormonal changes during pregnancy and postpartum that can result in more anxiety which can cause depression; however high stress can also trigger anxiety and depression in men. In certain ways having a new baby is a battlefield as the baby adjusts to the extrauterine world with feeding, sleep, and understanding their environment. The parents need to support the baby in this adjustment and until the parents are mindful of the babies condition (hungry, bored, tired, happy, overwhelmed)it can be stressful to the parent. All parents do better with support.