In this long holiday season from Thanksgiving through New Year it is easy to become overwhelmed, stressed and exhausted as we add all the extra activities of shopping, cleaning, cooking, parties and entertaining to our usual lives. As delightful as many of the events of the holidays are for some, they can also be times of emotional and physical exhaustion for others, as we rush to keep up with the demands we have set ourselves.
It is a time when we are particularly prone to being on “automatic pilot,” or checking–out, as we struggle to keep up with our to-do list, often feeling panicked that we will never get it all done on time!
How can mindfulness be a helpful antidote to holiday stress? Cultivating mindfulness helps interrupt the rushing, worrying, obsessing patterns that increase our tension, and helps us remember to slow down, pause, and return to being in the present. How do we do this? It’s really very simple… but very effective!
The MINDFULNESS PAUSE or STOP
S = STOP
Whenever you notice you are tense, on edge or “triggered” by a stressful situation.
T = TAKE a BREATH
Slowly inhale and exhale 5 slow, deep belly breaths. Release all your tension on the outbreath- really letting go completely. Notice how breathing calms you and returns you to being in your body.
O = OBSERVE
Take a moment to check in with yourself and recognize what is happening in your body, mind and emotions. Ask yourself- what am I feeling right now? Anxious-sad- threatened- angry? What’s happening in my body? Is my jaw clenched- are my shoulders tight- my back aching? What am I thinking? Am I re-living the past, planning the future or really present in this moment?
P = PROCEED or PARK
Either “proceed”, picking up where you were and continuing again after a refreshing pause – or – recognize it would be better to take a break and decide to “park” for a while.
What is most important is knowing that instead of just reacting automatically you have a choice to continue, or change course.
Practice STOP Anytime – Anywhere!
You don’t need a special time or place to practice this very simple technique- see if you can weave Mindfulness Pauses into your day regardless of how you are feeling. It is much better not to wait until you are about to blow your top, or go into a meltdown, but take STOP breaks regularly during your day…
- before picking up the phone to make a call, standing at the kitchen sink doing the dishes, before turning on the ignition in your car and driving off, before getting out of your car at the end of the journey, brushing your teeth, as you take a bite of food, sip a cup of tea, or simply step outside for a moment and gaze at the sky.
De-Stress Tips
Watch out for “triggers” – whatever pushes your buttons!
- Difficult emotions- holidays are times when we can feel emotionally fragile and vulnerable, and feelings of sadness, loss, hurt and isolation can intensify. Old family misunderstandings and dynamics can return and memories can be triggered as we negotiate family gatherings. Just acknowledging your feelings honestly is the first step in de-escalating emotional pain and tension.
- Physical exhaustion – holidays can be hectic with so many activities and we tend to go into over-drive, and there is little time to rest and relax. Remember to take care of your body- take a relaxing break – soak in a hot bath or have a nap! Get enough sleep and exercise-go for brisk walks!
- Overwhelmed- when you recognize you are reaching your limit- acknowledge how you are feeling and consider ways to let go of some of your plans and intentions. Simplify …and sometimes just say “No”!”
- Self –criticism – Don’t forget to bring a kind, non- judging attitude of acceptance to yourself and your limitations. Being caring and generous to yourself is the first step in being caring and generous to others- and that’s one of the most important gifts we can give each other at this time of year!
Wishing you a mindful holiday and a time of deep joy, calm and stillness to enjoy the blessings of this holiday season!
Erica Rayner-Horn M.A.
Mindful Therapy
www.mindful-therapy.net
erica@mindful-therapy.net
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