Time Magazine’s November 30, 2009 cover article by Nancy Gibbs begins with the ominous statement that “the insanity crept up on us slowly….” Gibbs’ warning about the dangers of “over-parenting” goes on to include lots of scary statistics, such as “25% drop in free playtime for 6-to-8-year-olds from 1981 to’97 while homework more than doubled.”
In an effort to add drama she includes accounts of some truly ridiculous situations such as the advice from Dear Abby that parents take a picture of their children each morning, “that way, if they are kidnapped, the police will have a fresh photo showing…what they were wearing.”
I certainly agree that being “obsessed with our kids’ success” has the potential of turning “parenting into a form of product development. Becoming a “helicopter parent” is no recipe for raising resilient children nor does it lead to savoring the joys of parenthood. However, the tone of this article is shrill and blaming of parents.
At the same time Gibbs’ suggestions for “what you can do” include participation in “the explosion of websites” dedicated to encouraging “people to brag about what bad parents they are.” Really?!
Ok, so the phenomenon exists in the wider culture, and it isn’t new. David Elkind, currently Professor Emeritus of Child Development at Tufts University in Medford, Massachusetts published The Hurried Child 27 years ago. How do parents walk the fine line between wanting the best for their children and over-functioning?
Here are a few suggestions from a mindful perspective. Set aside some time to reflect on what you are doing and what your goals are as a parent. Then remember to take good care of yourself. Also, as much as is possible in this fast-paced world of ours let it be ok to slow down a little bit.
And finally, here you are at the Community for Mindful Parents; why not take a look at Resources section? It’s full of great reads.
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Thank your for putting a wider perspective on this article. It puts me more at ease to try and find the right balance between involvement and interference.
A part of parenting is learning to become a thoughtful, curious human being that can be in tune with their children and their family’s needs. Getting yourself and your house in order. Making a priority list and being well organized. I agree with your advice regarding taking time to reflect on what you are doing and what your goals are as a parent.